Second Crisis
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: ***TAKEN DOWN ORIGINAL VERSION FOR LATER USE*** Parenting. Chiefly duties. Dragons. Trying-to-avoid-violent-death-via-wife. Hiccup loves his life. Sarcasm SO not included!
1. Chapter 1

**Didn't like the first one so much so I'm going to rewrite it and add in more detail hopefully, like the kids as babies and that.**

**I do not own Hiccup or Astrid or anyone else, but Ingrid is my OC and as you may already know them, Alastor and Aloe Helga Vera are mine too.**

* * *

><p>"Here, let me look after her for a bit. You get some sleep."<p>

"I can manage, Hiccup." Astrid retorted sharply. Hiccup mentally contradicted her; she looked dead on her feet, intense shadows ringing her sleepy eyes. Ingrid was half-dozing in her arms, now a week old and already a pain. She didn't always settle to sleep and when she did, you had to be very, _very_ careful not to wake her.

"Please. Just a few hours. Then you can have her right back afterwards." Astrid hesitated, her stubborn streak trying to break through. "Sleep..." Hiccup prompted. "Precious, _precious_ sleeeep..."

"Ugh, alright, _fine_!" Ingrid startled. Astrid quickly soothed her. "A few hours. That's it."

"Yes milady." Hiccup promised. His wife reluctantly handed over the infant- despite her initial worries, she had proven to be a good mother, very attentive and worrying over every little cough, sneeze or hiccup. Her mother and Valka reassured her that Ingrid was perfectly fine, healthy and- with the right care- she would grow to be as fierce as her mother. It had already been decided that Ingrid would take after Astrid. Hiccup just had a sense his daughter would grow up to be a stubborn, aggressive and temperamental young woman.

Examining his daughter's petite, delicate features now, Hiccup smiled. He could feel Astrid's gaze on him, gauging what he was going to do. "Go to sleep." She frowned. Hiccup picked up the large square of material his father had given to him. Stoick had shown him how to tie it to make an effective and safe baby sling, something he had used every day until he trusted baby Hiccup to totter alongside him.

Swiftly, Hiccup secured Ingrid in the sling and she settled happily against his lower back. Astrid kept her frown in place, but there was an impressed glint in her eyes. Hiccup grinned cheekily and sat next to her on the bed, resting a hand on the back of her neck. "Sleep." He repeated. "Lie down and _sleep_. It's good for you."

"Why don't you sleep too then?" She traced her thumbs gently under his eyes, pointing out his own dark circles.

"I have to run a village. You have to sleep."

"If you say 'sleep' one more time, I'm getting my axe."

"_Snooze_."

"Ugh!" She threw up her hands and toppled back onto the pillows. Hiccup smiled.

"Step one, check. Step two, snooze." She glared at him, arms folded defiantly across her chest. Hiccup tucked the blanket about her, doing his best not to accidently tickle her. She was very ticklish, a weapon he had to his advantage, although it was safer used as a last resort.

Ingrid squirmed and Hiccup heard her tiny yawn. "See, Ingrid's tired too."

"She's a baby, Hiccup, of course she's tired." Worry furrowed Astrid's brow. "You know what you're doing, right?"

"I'm not _completely_ incompetent."

"Could have fooled me." Hiccup pinched her nose playfully. "What if she gets hungry?" Astrid demanded, smacking his hand away.

"This is the opposite of sleeping."

"Do you have spare stuff to change her? Don't take her to the workshop either, she could get hurt. And don't let anyone hold her-"

"Because she might get ill, someone could take her or infect her into being a yak-dragon-Viking-hybrid." He got a whack then. "OK, OK," he brushed her hair from her eyes, "I'll be good." She nodded contentedly. Hiccup took her hand, rubbing his thumbs into her palm, gradually massaging up her arm and then her neck and shoulders. She slowly relaxed. Within minutes, she was softly snoring, a rebellious strand of her hair floating about on her gentle breathing.

Hiccup left quietly and closed the door behind him just as silently. "There we go," he mumbled, "nice and easy."

"Who are you talking to?" Hiccup started, but it was only Fishlegs and Bjorn's father, Bjorn Senior. Both of them were looking up at him in confusion and amusement.

"Myself, mostly. Who else?" The pair shared agreeing looks and smiled, confusion vanishing. "Hey, this is one of those times you're supposed to contradict your chief. Tell him he's _not_ mad."

"Hiccup." Fishlegs stated. "We all know you're mad."

"And be it one of those times or not, if we contradicted you, you'd get upset."

"I so wouldn't." Hiccup snuck down the stairs and waved them out, grabbing his ever-prepared baby bag on the way. "So, what do I have to do today then?"

"Thawfest is coming up." Fishlegs began, drawing a list from one of the pouches on his belt. He passed it to his chief and Bjorn gave him blunt, but effective advice on a few of the things. With Astrid having time off, these two helped to keep Hiccup on track and to work to the best he could. He was still getting the hang of this chiefly business.

"Are we going to keep the dragons this year?" Bjorn asked, leaning back to check on the sleeping tot. "She doesn't look so evil asleep." Bjorn Senior and his son had met Ingrid once. The latter had been smitten, but Senior had been completely convinced that the infant had given him the evil eye, was plotting his murder and that he should stick well clear of the infant unless necessary.

"She's not evil, she's a baby. And yes, we're keeping the dragons. Fishlegs, you're in charge of fire prevention duties." Fishlegs beamed. "Bjorn, you can organise some of the games. Something different though, please, I'm getting tired of people lugging sheep and playing limbo."

"Yeah, me too." Bjorn smiled. "You said _some_ though, what about the rest?"

"You and Fishlegs can work that out between you, but clear ideas with me first, OK? Dad'll lose his head if this goes wrong."

"It's your first Thawfest." Fishlegs patted him on the shoulder. "You'll do fine." Hiccup sighed. "Are you feeling OK? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine. This parenting business is tiring." Hiccup studied his list. "Fishlegs, your writing is either eccentrically neat or eccentrically _terrible_." Fishlegs frowned and peered over the chief's shoulder, trying to see how Hiccup would see his writing. Bjorn looked at it too.

"I can see what you mean. Here," he pointed, "is neat, but here," he pointed again, "not so much."

"Uneducated." Fishlegs took the list back and read it to them shortly, not faltering once. Hiccup suspected he had it memorised.

"You just called your chief stupid." Hiccup pointed out when he had fallen silent. Fishlegs rolled his eyes.

"You'd be hopeless without us or Astrid."

"Oh, the support is overwhelming, thank you." Fishlegs must have pegged the heavy sarcasm as he ignored Hiccup for first minutes. "Yes, very mature."

* * *

><p><strong>This is a working progress, I'm sorry if it's not so good!<strong>

**Happy New Year everyone and thank you for making it an awesome Fanfiction-ning (new word!) year! :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**To Guest- Thank you! :D I am trying and I hope it'll be relatively OK still :P **

**Mostly a Hiccstrid chapter, I think. Still sorting things out on this one.**

* * *

><p>Hiccup worked later that evening than he should have, but he <em>really<em> had to get Thawfest right. He probably should have sent word to Astrid and it was carelessly stupid and stupidly careless of him not to. Not that anything had gone wrong, but she did worry about her baby.

Truth was Ingrid had pretty much slept all day, seemingly comfortable in the sling. She had woken up a few times to be fed or changed, but that was it. Come tonight though, she would be up every hour demanding food, attention and changing. Hiccup had never known such a bossy baby. Took after her mother.

"Where have you been?!" Astrid raged the second he stepped through the door. At first he saw no axe and thought she was unarmed. For a split second he had the blissful sensation that he wouldn't get maimed tonight, but then he saw the knife and knew he was in trouble.

"I was just sorting out some last bits for Thawfest." He assured, raising his hands in innocence and surrender. Her emotions were still all over the place from the pregnancy so it was best and safer to just stay calm and limit the sarcasm. Not an easy task, Hiccup often discovered.

"You smell of smoke; _have you been to the forges_?"

"Yes, but I didn't take Ingrid. Your mother looked after her." Astrid sighed. There were six people she trusted Ingrid with- herself, Hiccup, her parents and his parents. That was it. Not even her cousins or other relatives were allowed to hold Ingrid without trusted supervision. Hildegard and Valka assured Hiccup she would calm down eventually. Pregnancy and childbirth often made the mother very attached.

Astrid was still glaring at him. "Here, look," He pulled the sling round and caught Ingrid in the crook of his elbow, "sound asleep." Her anger faded and she actually looked impressed. She settled back down once Ingrid was safely in her arms. "You don't have to worry so much, Astrid." Hiccup explained gently, folding up the sling and tucking it away. "I know you're worried about her getting hurt and all, but she'll be fine." He smiled and waved it off. "Look at her heritage for example- you, Stoick the Vast, you, Valka the crazy dragon lady, Hildegard the fierce and loving mother, your dad who is one really scary guy- I mean, does he do anything other than grunt and snarl?" Astrid lobbed a pillow at his head and he ducked. "Where was I?" He mused, pretending to contemplate his tangent for a few seconds. "Oh yeah! And you, you... um... you..."

"You keep mentioning me."

"Someone has to keep track of all your split personalities." Another missile, a bowl this time. Hiccup ducked again, almost expertly. "Rude."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"You never said anything about yourself."

"I'm not a big scary Viking though, am I?"

"No, but you're pretty tough." He opened his mouth to counter, but she wasn't finished. "Captured, befriended and trained a Night Fury; defeated the Red Death single-handedly; losing a leg-"

"I knew you'd add that in."

"Being kidnapped by a crazy person only to discover it was your mother-"

"How does that even come into all of this?"

"You didn't listen to your dad- pigheadedness."

"That just means I'm a wayward child. You know, _you can't make me eat my greens_!" He declared in a childish voice. Astrid bounced an apple core off his head.

"I'm running out of things to throw at you."

"Stop throwing things then!" He protested, sticking his bottom lip out in the hope of achieving sympathy. Astrid rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Ingrid. Hiccup counted to fifteen, deemed it safe and went to sit next to her. "I told you that you didn't need to worry." He smiled, taking her hand in both of his. "I bet you a stuffed yak that she'll grow up to be as violent- uh, as _communicative_," he corrected as she raised a brow at him, "as her endearing and delightful mother."

"Real smooth, Hiccup."

"Yup." He agreed. "That's me. _Smoo_-ow!" Astrid had hooked her foot under his legs and tipped him off. "Wha-? Is it pick-on-Hiccup day or something?"

"Yeah, just for you." She smiled teasingly, leaning forward carefully to be almost eye level with him. "Aren't you lucky?"

"Immensely." He replied in a monotone. Astrid just laughed and sat back up. Hiccup shook his head at her, ducking again when she tried to boot him in the face. "I married an eccentric lady who constantly tries to kill me. I make such good choices." She leant forward again and clipped around the head. "What was that for?!"

"That was for being bloody sarcastic!"

"That wasn't sarcasm! It _wasn't_!" He insisted at her dubious look. Ingrid hiccupped. "Aw, she's got the me's!" He smiled fondly.

"What?" His smile turned cheeky and Ingrid hiccupped again. "Ugh..." Astrid cast her gaze to the ceiling. "You can't call them that."

"Says who?"

"Says the eccentric lady who constantly tries to kill you."

"Oh, you mean my wife!" He bopped himself lightly on the head and laughed once. "You should really meet her, you'll get on _great_."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I know."

"Viciously."

"I know."

"You'll just be a bothersome stain on the floor."

"But I wanted to be on the wall!"

"Why did I marry you?"

"You obviously fell for my incredibly masculine figure, good looks and charms and decided to forever have my babies."

"I hate you." He laughed again, leant over to kiss her lightly. "I really hate you."

"Oh, I can tell." He agreed, playing along. "You're going to kill me in my sleep, aren't you?"

"I'm considering it, but that doesn't leave you a bothersome stain on the floor. That just leaves you a great big lump on my bed."

"I feel loved."

"So you should. Now go away, I need to feed Ingrid." He nodded dutifully, kissing her forehead before taking his leave.

Astrid smiled to herself. He was such an idiot, but she loved him for it.


	3. Chapter 3

Shortly before Ingrid turned two weeks old, villagers started to flock to the Haddock residence, bearing gifts. They were thrilled to see the chief now had an heir, a healthy one at that. A few turned their noses up at the possibility of a future female chief if Hiccup didn't have any more children- they advised him to try for a son. "A son would be better." One of them said. He had his back to Astrid, but must have felt the full burn of her glare as he made his excuses and hurriedly left.

"Ruff, Tuff, will you not torment her?" Hiccup sighed. The twins were leaning over the cot, occasionally shoving the other to snatch the limelight.

"We're not _tormenting_ her." Ruffnut exasperated, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," Tuffnut agreed, "we're teaching her."

"Teaching her _what_, exactly?" Astrid frowned. The twins shook their heads at her, sighing dramatically.

"Ain't it obvious?"

"We're teaching her how to be awesome."

"Like us." Ruffnut concluded. As if to prove a point, they head-butted each other, laughing. Ingrid was staring up at them with infantile bewilderment.

"Joy." Astrid muttered. "Oh, even more joyous." She glowered at Snotlout as he barged the twins out of the way. She hadn't forgiven him for spreading rumours that the baby was his and not Hiccup's.

"Ugh," he wrinkled his nose distastefully, "see, Astrid. If you'd gone with me, she'd look much better." Astrid reached for her axe, but Hiccup got there first.

"Ah yes. Human piglets. Just what we needed." His wife snorted with laughter, the twins cackling at Snotlout's expense. The stout Viking was struggling to formulate a response, glaring at the chief. Hiccup smiled sweetly and waved him on. A few other villagers cooed over Ingrid, leaving baskets of fish, bread and pie. Toothless and Stormfly were happily chowing down on the fish already. "You just had breakfast!" Hiccup scolded playfully. Toothless coughed up a fish head and nudged it towards his rider. He crooned happily, watching Hiccup expectantly. "Uh, no thanks." Hiccup pushed it back towards the dragon with his artificial foot. He ended up playing a pushing game with the regurgitated fish and his dragon. In the end, Astrid had Stormfly eat it.

"Honestly, Hiccup, you're supposed to be _chief_."

"I am."

"Then act like it."

"No."

"Hiccup!" Fishlegs stumbled in. "Hiccup, washed up boat on the beach!"

"Anyone on it?"

"I don't know, but it's not one of ours!"

"Ok, calm down. Twins-" He turned back to talk to them, cutting off when he saw they were 'teaching' his daughter again. "Twins." They looked at him, not standing up straight from leaning over the cot. Astrid was shaking her head, smiling. "Nevermind. Come on, Fishlegs, we'll go check it out." Toothless bundled over, cuddling up to his rider excitedly. "Yes, you can come to." Hiccup chuckled.

* * *

><p>The secluded beach was mostly deserted, except for the boat. It was in no merry state, the mast broken almost clean in half, the figurehead completely wrecked, holes in the sides and bottom. Most of the oars were broken or missing.<p>

Toothless and Meatlug dropped neatly onto the sand. The Night Fury started clawing sand towards him as soon as Hiccup had dismounted, gathering a small mound and looking proud of it. He growled at Hiccup to pay attention and seemed to smile at his creation.

"Very nice, bud." Toothless snorted in agreement. Then he trampled over the sand castle, chortling happily.

"Your dragon is weird." Fishlegs announced. Toothless huffed, giving the other rider an unimpressed look. Meatlug bundled forward and the two dragons started playing around.

The two men advanced, carefully stepping over debris. Lots of fish were scattered inside the ship, stinking to the high heavens. Fishlegs recoiled and put his arm over his mouth and nose. Hiccup made a face and carried on.

"Hello?" Hiccup called. "Anyone home?"

"It's a boat, Hiccup."

"Shut up, Fishlegs." Movement caught their attention, floorboards creaking above their heads. Hiccup motioned and they scrambled up the lopsided stairs, shouldering the door open. They nearly toppled into the water, but they steadied themselves. "Ah." Hiccup smiled. "People."

Three men were gathered about the wheel of the ship, looking exhausted and a little beat up. "Hello." Hiccup's smile was friendly. Fishlegs hung back, examining the crew and the wreckage.

"Who are you?" One of them asked. They could have been siblings, they looked so much alike. Similar, muscular builds, dark hair and beards. Other features- eye colour, style of braids in hair and beards, nose shape and injuries- were different.

"I'm Hiccup. This is Fishlegs. Who are you?"

"I'm Earl." The middle one said. He seemed to be the leader. "This is Gabor," he gestured at the man on his left, "and this is Arvid." He waved at the other man.

"What happened here?"

"Little dragons, lots of fog." Earl offered. "We were trying to fend them off when we shipwrecked."

"Fishermen?" Fishlegs quizzed. They all nodded. "That's all of fish for three men."

"Big nets." Gabor muttered.

"Where are we?" Arvid asked.

"Berk." Hiccup replied. He carefully made his way over to them. Fishlegs followed, albeit hesitantly.

He heard a scuffling below deck and a familiar, contented chortle. "Toothless!" He called. "Stop eating!" Seconds later, his dragon jumped up, scrambling to keep his balance on the banister. His mouth was stuffed with fish and he seemed very happy with this.

"Night Fury!" Arvid gasped, stumbling back.

"It's OK, he won't hurt you."

"He's eating our profits!" Earl protested.

"They're only going to go to waste." Fishlegs pointed out. "You can sell to Berk, but with this ship?" He tapped his foot on the slanted deck and shook his head pityingly. "You're not going anywhere."

* * *

><p>Astrid didn't seem overly happy with three burly men randomly appearing in her home and stinking of extremely ripe fish.<p>

"Hiccup?" She questioned shortly when the chief appeared. He kissed her forehead in greeting and explained.

"We did have dinner, but, uh... certain dragon of mine ate it all." He scratched at his chin. Astrid could tell he was battling to get his thoughts aligned. "Your mother is here."

"Yes."

"It's very tidy."

"She likes tidy." Hiccup nodded in agreement. "What are they doing here?" She nodded at the fishermen.

"Um, they're going to sleep out back until their ship is fixed." He paused, gauging her reaction. "As long as that's alright with you."

"Is this the wife you were telling us about?" Earl asked.

"Yep." Hiccup said proudly. His tone made Astrid's annoyance flutter weakly for a moment, pleased that he was such a loving husband and boasted about her to new people, but she was annoyed that he had invited three strangers into her home.

Hildegard tottered from the pantry, carefully carrying a basket of chicken, bread and some vegetables. She didn't notice the guests, her attention fixated on the food, making sure she didn't drop anything.

"Astrid, I couldn't find any onions. Are you sure you've got some?"

"We did."

"Ah. _Did_. Past tense." Hildegard set the basket on the table, shooing away Toothless, and turned to stoke the fire. She noticed the three men then, startling and dropping a log. Hiccup hurriedly helped her- it was always good to stay in his mother-in-law's good books. "Hello." She said uncertainly. She gave Hiccup a quizzical look and he recounted the story. Hildegard pursed her lips when he finished and he sensed a maternal worry nagging at her mind. She and her daughter shared glances, but neither said anything. Hiccup didn't like it when they did that- he never understood.

"Well, I'd better get a bit more then." Hildegard said, surveying the food basket. She nodded at the guests and shuffled back to the pantry.

"Take a seat." Hiccup offered, gesturing at the chairs around the table. "Where's Ingrid?" He asked Astrid.

"Upstairs." She replied quietly. Hiccup held out his hand to her and they went upstairs together. Toothless followed, curious. He found his best friend asleep and curled around the crib, rushing to nudge her awake and play. Stormfly squawked at him, opening on eye tiresomely. Toothless cooed and peered into the cot, grumbling a hello. "Hiccup." Astrid said.

"I know, I know, strange me abruptly coming into your home without having a bath beforehand. I'm sorry."

"The smell is only part of it; I know you're doing your chief hospitality thing, but I don't want them near Ingrid."

"OK."

"I mean it!" She hissed. "Mum thinks so too- there's something not quite right with them."

"Something _fishy_?" She smacked his arm, but he noticed a waver in her expression- a stray smile. "But don't you worry. I trust you and your mum's maternally instincts, so I'll do my best to make sure nothing happens and that Ingrid is OK. Besides, it's not like they're going to get past you and your axe." The dragons snorted complaints. "Or them." Hiccup added. She nodded once, a hint of self-pride seeping through at the axe comment. He chuckled. "That's my queen." He smiled. Her anger broke away then and she returned his good humour.

"I was right about you."

"Oh?"

"I knew you were alright."

"Was this before or after I met Toothless and you dropped your axe on my-?" She twisted his arm and he was forced to his knees, his wrist on the verge of snapping. "You're right. Always right!" He corrected thickly. She let go and knelt before him smiling sweetly and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Hiccup flexed his wrist and waggled his fingers experimentally. Returned her hug. "Violence isn't the answer."

"Yes it is." There was a tint of playful warning in her voice and he nodded, kissing her cheek.

"Yep." He agreed. "As usual, you're right."

"And don't you forget it."


	4. Chapter 4

Toothless scoffed down the last of his dinner. Stormfly was still pecking at her chicken, refusing to share. She didn't even give him a bit when he bought some fish back up for her!

Instead, he regained his regurgitated food and went to check on the hatchling. It was a weird hatchling. No wings or claws. Then again, Hiccup and his mate didn't have wings or claws. And they didn't lay eggs either. These Viking types were strange creatures.

The hatchling was swaddled in sheets of cloth, her blue eyes half-open. She had tufts of dark hair that never lay flat, but were as soft as silk. She wasn't very old, Toothless figured. Viking hatchlings took _forever_ to grow.

The child hiccupped and then mewled unhappily. Astrid was there in an instant, petting Toothless and securing her baby. Toothless followed curiously, getting halfway up the stairs before Hiccup's mate closed the door on him.

"Toothless!" His rider called. "Come here, bud." Toothless grumbled his objection and Hiccup laughed. "Oy, you, she's _my_ wife. Now come here." Toothless bumbled down the stairs, jumping the last few. He nudged his rider affectionately, cooing. Hiccup scratched him behind the ear and Toothless purred contentedly. "Stupid dragon." Toothless retaliated by flicking his ear and smacking Hiccup on the nose. "Oy!" Hiccup half-laughed, trying to stay angry at his reptilian friend. Toothless pulled _the_ _face_ and Hiccup faltered.

Stormfly sidled over for some attention, fluttering her wings self-importantly. She was such a vain dragon, but she was happy enough to lie on the floor to be petted.

Soon enough, she and Toothless jumped up and out the window and Hiccup got to listen to them chasing each other around the house. He heard a creak of wood and then a loud _crack_ as they dismantled a tree to further their game. There were so many trees missing branches... stupid dragons.

He pushed himself up from his seat and ventured upstairs, knocking on the door. "Astrid? You OK for me to come in?"

"Um, no." Hiccup sat on the top step. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I _am_ allowed a lunch break." He reminded her.

"Says who?" She replied playfully. He could hear the smile in her voice.

"Says that dashing chief of ours. I've heard he's quite handsome."

"Mmm..." Astrid hummed. "Not my type really."

"Well, even if he was, you'd be too late. Someone told me he had a very beautiful wife."

"No."

"Yes. Seen her myself, she's _brilliant_."

"She's just had a baby, Hiccup. I'm sure she's not feeling as spritely as usual."

"She is when she's trying to kill her marvellous husband." He envisioned her shaking her head at him, trying not to smile even though she already was. "Are you really worried that I think you're not so beautiful because of Ingrid?"

"No..." She said uncertainly.

"If anything, I think you look better now than you did before. And I hadn't thought that was possible."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it." He heard her approaching footsteps and got up, dusting himself down as the door swung open.

"Really?" She asked apprehensively. He nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Would I dare lie to you?" She gave a small smile and kissed him lightly. "How's Ingrid?"

"Asleep now." He made to suggest she get some sleep too when a knock on the door broke their conversation. He hurried to answer it, skipping down the stairs two at a time, in case they woke the baby.

It was the three fishermen- Earl, Arvid and Gabor.

"Hello." Hiccup smiled, stepping outside and pulling the door to."Everything OK?"

"We were wondering if there was anything we could do to help out." Arvid said. "Everyone seems to be working and we're just... well, just sitting there really."

"Um..." Hiccup pulled his list from his pocket. He always kept lists with him now; he worked better that way. "Ah, perfect job for you guys." They brightened interestedly. "Can you go with Bucket and Mulch and get in as many fish as you can?"

"Can dragons fly?" Gabor smirked, a rhetorical question. Hiccup smiled politely and they were off.

Astrid was waiting just inside the door. She had clearly been listening.

"Still don't trust them?"

"No," she muttered, arms crossed, "I don't."

"They're helping to get food though." She shrugged and turned away, clearing the table from lunch. He helped her, stacking the bowls and cups. He balanced them in one hand and curled the fingers of his other one under her chin, tilting her head back to make her look at him. "You don't have to worry." He told her. "That amazing and handsome chief is here to help his lovely wife."

"And we're back to that."

"It's the only way to compliment you without being hit." As if to make a point, she smacked his arm, nearly making him drop the crockery. "Well," he gave a mock dramatic sigh, "it was."

* * *

><p>To ease Astrid's nerves, Stoick and Valka visited for the remainder of the day while Hiccup worked. His wife didn't like the idea of those three fishermen skulking about. No matter what he said or how much fish they caught for the village, Astrid didn't want to trust them. She was adamant there was something to them, something they weren't getting yet. "It's only a matter of time." She told him. "They'll slip up, I know they will." Hiccup didn't argue with her, mainly because it was never good to tell your wife she was delusional. There was a reason women lived longer than men.<p>

Gobber and a few of the younger boys he had taken on as apprentices were working to fix up the fishermen's ship and a small number of the more artsy-crafty women were busy creating large, durable fishing nets and baskets. In return, the three guests paid their debts by constantly helping out anyway they could- gathering supplies, fishing, cleaning dragon stalls, cleaning the arena and some small home repairs too. Arvid helped to bake bread and such in the bakery; Gabor helped with the livestock and Earl had a knack for farming. Hiccup would be happy to keep them here if it wasn't for his wife's and in-laws' concerns.

He personally hadn't noticed anything wrong about the trio, but Astrid was absolutely positive one of them had tried to sneak into her and Hiccup's bedroom while she was feeding Ingrid. "They had no reason to be up there anyway!" Astrid protested, which was true. Hiccup had only ever known them to wait at the front door for him.

For now, his or her parents would keep her company throughout the day. Occasionally, the other dragon riders pitched in, much to Astrid's sarcastic 'joy'. The twins were destructive and didn't stop fighting, constantly waking Ingrid; Fishlegs would get nervous around the baby and end up knocking things over and wasn't sure what to do to; Snotlout just irritated Astrid with his mere presence. A lot of bad feeling between these two, highly unlikely to ever be amended.

"Don't have him here, I don't like him." She told Hiccup one morning.

"I know you don't like him." Hiccup managed around his mouthful of gruel. "But if anything does happen, you'll be glad of back-up."

"Oh, yeah, 'cos he's _so_ helpful." Astrid grumbled. Hiccup reached across the table and squeezed her hand. She gave a small smile and laced her fingers with his. "I can take care of myself." She paused. "And Ingrid."

"I'm not saying you can't; I just don't want either of you hurt." Astrid sighed, looking down at Ingrid curled in her arm. She was awake and looking around curiously, chewing on her fingers. She was just over a month old now. Her hair was dark and tufty, blue eyes alert as she examined her mother's braid.

Toothless jumped on the roof, calling happily. Ingrid startled and wailed in protest. Astrid comforted her as best she could, but the Night Fury was relentless. Hiccup jumped up and out the door. Toothless chortled at him, telling him to get a move on.

"You're getting me in trouble! Come down here!" The dragon bounced again and then swooped down, tackling Hiccup and coating him in salvia.

"Everything alright, chief?" Hiccup managed to push his dragon away and saw his three guests above him, looking amused.

"Yes," Hiccup wiped away what he could, "you're Justin time for breakfast." Arvid pulled him to his feet and Hiccup led them inside. Astrid looked a little irritated, but said nothing. Hiccup was going to get a little bit of lecture about this later- he just wanted to get them all to get along.

"So why was your dragon attacking?" Earl asked amusedly, dribbling a little honey onto his gruel.

"Oh, he wasn't attacking." Hiccup waved it off. "That's Toothless's way of saying 'morning'." He could feel the pressure of Astrid's look on him. He pushed his foot against her shin under the table, a discreet nudge of reassurance. "I've been meaning to ask you lot- you haven't noticed anyone sneaking around the house, have you?"

"No." Earl shook his head. Hiccup waited for the other two to confirm this, thinking more about the slight pause before Earl had answered. "We're only here in the mornings and at night," Earl pointed out, "we're out helping otherwise."

"Why?" Gabor asked, looking at Astrid. "Something happen?" She fumed, cutting a sideways glance at her husband. "Ma'am."

"Has someone upset you?" Arvid leant forward, offering his full attention and concern. "If you ever need help, ma'am, we'll be happy to-"

"I don't _need_ help with anything!" Astrid blurted out, smacking her hand on the table. The trio startled. "Especially from any of you! I can take care of myself!" She shoved away from the table and stomped away, dodging Hiccup's outstretched hand and storming upstairs.

"I did- I didn't mean for… to upset her." Arvid mumbled.

"Um, no, no. It's… it's alright." Hiccup got up to, forced a smiled. "I 'spect it's just… you know, just had a baby and all." They all nodded in understanding, murmuring agreement. Hiccup left them to their breakfast and went to check on his wife.

She had put Ingrid in her cot and was furiously pacing about the room. If she kept this up, she'd wear away the floorboards. "Astrid?"

"No!" She growled, snapping to a halt and glaring at him. "Don't come up here if you're going to lecture me; I've told you I don't like them!"

"I'm not here to lecture you." Hiccup promised, holding up his hands in the hope of placating her and to tell her that she didn't need to kill him right now. "I have nothing against your worry about them, I swear." He added at her scrutinizing glower. "I just… I'm not sure what to do." He admitted. "Yeah, I can see why you'd be worried, but they've been a great help since they got here and- and well… I just don't know how to go about sorting this rift." He could see her temper boiling below the surface and decided to stay quiet, let her mull over her thoughts. She shook with suppressed rage, hands bunched into fists at her sides, her shoulders set in sheer defiance, eyes cruel and fiery. Hiccup didn't look away from her.

And then… nothing. It was like something had clicked and drained away all her anger. Or lessened it, Hiccup realised. That would be the correct term. He doubted Astrid was never _not_ angry.

He held out his arms and she stumbled into the hug, resting her head on his shoulder and securing her arms around his waist.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"You don't have to apologise." He smiled, running his fingers through the loose strands of her hair. "I'm sorry for not figuring this out fast enough. But you women…" He gave a single laugh, one that sounded more terrified and confused than humorous, "are as perplexing as you are amazing." She smiled.

"Nice save."


	5. Chapter 5

"Guess what day it is." Hiccup grinned. Astrid groaned and pulled her pillow over her head, stubbornly shutting her husband out. He pulled childishly on the bedding and gripped her shoulder tightly. This only gained him a sharp elbow to the stomach and he rolled away, winded.

"I _know _it's your birthday." She grumbled. "I also know it's _early _and _no_, we haven't planned you a surprise birthday party."

"Ooohhhh..." Hiccup complained. "I'll remember that when it's your birthday."

"Look," She sighed, propping herself up on her elbows to frown at him, "_your _birthday is every four years. _My _birthday is far more often and _my _birthday is _mine_." Her eyes hardened and he knew that if he dare 'forget' her birthday, he would be beaten. Viciously.

"Which is why my birthday is more important. You've had more birthdays than I've had and it's _completely _unfair."

"It's not _my _fault you're awkward." She muttered, plopping herself back down and turning her back to him. This only prompted him to sprawl out over the bed, leaning against her and sighing heavily, loudly and pointedly until she shoved him to the floor. "Alright, alright! I'm up! Happy?"

"Depends if I get a birthday kiss." He grinned cheekily.

"No." She was saved from his protests by Ingrid waking up. He was closer and, therefore, there first. He smirked at Astrid and sauntered off victoriously with their daughter, claiming he didn't need anyone but the girl in his life who couldn't argue back. He got waylaid by Toothless, who was the biggest drama queen to ever grace the island of Berk.

Astrid hurriedly got dressed and rushed downstairs to see Hiccup dripping Night Fury salvia, the two dragons happily chowing down on fish and chicken and Ingrid snuffling in her basket on the table. "Hiccup, you're hopeless." He laughed.

"Don't remind me." She threw him a towel and attended to Ingrid, taking her back upstairs. "Oy!" Hiccup protested. "Who am I supposed to birthday with now?"

"Well," Astrid stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back down at him, "hopefully someone who can teach you proper grammar."

"I'm a Viking, I don't need grammar."

"You do if you like having all your limbs." She looked him up and down. "Whether you were born with them or not."

"Oh, so not only are you abandoning me _on my birthday_, but you're also making amputee jokes."

"Of course." She smiled sweetly and closed the door. Hiccup made a face after her, silently relieved she couldn't see it, and turned back to the two winged reptiles.

"You won't leave me on my birthday, will you?" Stormfly squawked and ruffled her wings self-importantly, scooping up the last of her breakfast. Toothless's response was to cough up a fish head as his gift to his rider. "Well, I suppose that's better than being shoved off the bed."

"I can hear you!"

"I said nothing!" Astrid swore colourfully at him. "Hey!" He bounced up the stairs and stopped outside the door. "No swearing around my baby; she doesn't have to be like you _entirely_, you know."

"Yes she does. She's going to grow up to be a true Hofferson woman."

"She's a Haddock."

"With Hofferson blood; this one will go far, you watch."

"Yeah, if you don't mind her _slaughtering _people."

"_I beg your pardon_?"

"You're pardoned."

"Are you insinuating that my baby is going to grow up to be a mass murderer?"

"Well, if she's anything like her mother..."

"You're so lucky I'm feeding her right now, Hiccup, or I'd smack you into-"

"Next week?" He finished for her.

"No, to your next birthday."

"Ooh, four years. What an achievement."

"Go away."

"Fine. I'll go and see my lovely parents and see if they have anything for me other than violence." He waited a second and then darted into the room, kissed her and then out again, laughing maniacally. Toothless bounded after him happily- he'd get more food from Stoick and Valka if he played his cards right.

* * *

><p>"Happy birthday, m'boy!" Stoick boomed happily. Hiccup grinned at him and hugged his mother in greeting.<p>

"Five and bit now, right?" She teased.

"Yeah, I this many." He smiled, holding his hand. Valka laughed softly and shook her head at her son's absurdity. Stoick waved him over, throwing Toothless a kipper. "So, what's going on today then?"

"Well, dinner with the in-laws later." Valka said, setting a bowl of gruel and honey before her son and ruffling his hair. "Other than that, I think your father is running the village today."

"And that's your birthday present." Stoick smiled, petting Toothless.

"Ahhh, I thought you loved me!"

"We do. But there is only so much a father can do for his boy."

"Which is why..." Valka crossed the room and retrieved a small parcel from the cupboard, "you have a lovely mother too." Toothless sniffed curiously at the present and would have happily drooled over it had Valka not kindly pushed him away. "Oh no you don't, you pain." She laughed, handing the present over. Hiccup promptly tore the paper away and discovered a leather bound notebook with stitched bindings and lovely, thick sheets of paper- hundreds of them. "I think that'll last you a couple of months at least." Valka smiled.

"Brilliant!" Hiccup beamed. He'd been meaning to get a new notebook for ages. "Thanks, Mum!"

"What'd Astrid get you?"

"A one-way ticket off the bed and quite a few threats to lose another limb or two if I didn't get my grammar right."

"So, not so bad this year then?"

"I suppose not, but the day's not over yet."

"Quite right too, you little snitch." Astrid stomped in, Ingrid in the sling. Unlike Hiccup, Astrid wore the sling so the infant was settled with her head on her shoulder. She dropped into a seat opposite Hiccup and threw another parcel across the table. It was bigger, but softer than Valka's had been. "Made it myself." She smiled proudly as Hiccup held up the new red shirt with his name lopsidedly stitched across the back in black. In comparison to some of her other work, it was perfect, if a little on the big side. He suspected the Berk crest on the front was her mother's work though, there was no way Astrid would have the patience to sit there and stitch that. "You have to wear that."

"And I will." Hiccup promised, pulling off his blue shirt and sliding the new one on. Astrid beamed at him. Stoick nodded, smiling approvingly- he had taught his son well. "Hey, Astrid. Guess what?"

"What?" She asked warily, her smile faltering slightly.

"You're stuck with your _lovely _husband all day."

"Ugh..." Her shoulders slumped in defeat and Hiccup laughed. "I suppose I have to then... but just for today, my tolerance doesn't stretch that far."

"I know."

* * *

><p>Earl, Arvid and Gabor were quick to learn it was the chief's birthday. They arrived with the twins, Fishlegs and Snotlout. Fishlegs was the only one of the group to get him a sensible present- a new set of charcoal pencils and a new knife- Gronckle Iron, he said proudly. The twins gifted him with a grumpy Terrible Terror in a ghastly and poorly wrapped bow that rampaged around the house for half an hour. Toothless caught him by nearly eating him whole. Snotlout had given him an old axe that Hiccup would have no use for and couldn't really lift anyway. Judging by the triumphant smirk Snotlout wore, this had been his attention.<p>

"Sorry we didn't get you anything." Earl smiled. "We didn't know."

"Oh, it's alright." Hiccup waved it off. "You lot have been a great help and- no, Toothless, spit him out. Here, look, come here..." Toothless bundled over, cheeks bulging. He looked annoyed and then relieved when he spat out a slobbery Terrible Terror. Hiccup removed the bow as Toothless hurried off for a drink to wash away the horrible reptile taste. The chief kept a firm hold on the smaller dragon, drying him off carefully with a towel. "Twins, _really_?"

"We thought it'd be funny."

"Of course you did." He sighed. The Terror looked a bit happier now that he wasn't covered in salvia and that there was no ridiculous bow adorning his neck. "See, no need to go crazy, was there?" Hiccup smiled, scratching the dragon under the chin. Toothless returned and sniffed curiously at the smaller dragon. "What'd you think, bud?" Toothless sneezed and Hiccup took that as a 'yes'. "Alright then, we'll call him Rage."

"Not another dragon!" Astrid scolded.

"He's only a little one, look!" Hiccup smiled. "And it is my birthday." He added. "You know, my once-every-four-years birthday."

"_Fine_, but _you _can look after him."

"Why don't you get one too so we can have a matching set?" Astrid just shook her head and disappeared upstairs with Ingrid. Hiccup watched her go, smiling to himself. He looked round and saw Arvid had been watching her too. "Oy, no funny ideas. That's my wife."

"Huh? Oh! Oh no, I wouldn't _dare_- that's just disrespectful, you know, with you being the chief and all." Hiccup just nodded, petting Rage. Where was the respect for Astrid as her own highly respectable person? "Well, work to do." Arvid swung his arms, bouncing on the balls of his feet and glancing around. "Have a nice day, sir." He and his two friends left, all giving their wishes for his big day.

Astrid came back downstairs minutes after they had left and sat next to Hiccup, waggling her fingers at Rage in greeting.

"You're avoiding them." Hiccup acknowledged.

"For a good cause. I don't think their heads will look good on my wall. Twins, put those down! Fishlegs, you _can_ sit down, Ingrid's not going to explode." Her eyes fixed on Snotlout and she frowned.

"Oh, I see how it is." Snotlout shrugged. "You clearly don't want to admit your feelings for me in front of the _husband_." He nodded at Hiccup and smirked. Astrid calmly passed Ingrid over and snatched up Hiccup's new axe, raising it above her head. Snotlout had a second to give Hiccup a pointed look- _your _wife _can lift the axe that _you _can't_- before he realised he had better run.

Ingrid was staring blearily at Rage, reaching out experimentally with a small, pudgy hand. She drooled and her fingers scrabbled across the small dragon's scales. Her arm jerked up and she looked up at her father, sneezing.

"Bless you." Hiccup smiled, wiping her face gently on yet another towel. Towels were everywhere in this household, for dragon and baby purposes alike. "Don't grow up to be _too _much like your mother, alright? I don't need two scary women in my life, thank you very much."

* * *

><p><strong>This is just a filler chapter until I can work my way towards my idea. I hope it's OK- sorry if it isn't, but I'm not feeling all that good at the moment, so things are a bit : Sorry! **


	6. Chapter 6

Hiccup was having a lovely warm dream about a talking Toothless- who was quite the comedian- and a quiet Snotlout- which was heavenly- when he was rudely awoken by his screaming, violent wife.

At first, he wasn't sure what was going on. She hit him sharply and then seemed to disappear, yelling blue murder as she charged down the stairs. He heard Stormfly squawking angrily and then Toothless was there.

Hiccup woke up then.

Someone had taken Ingrid.

"Give me back my baby!" Astrid screamed. Stormfly hurled spines into their pathway, but the figures only sprinted to the left, disappearing amongst the houses. A large, winged shadow darted up before them and they hurriedly changed course again. Astrid heard her husband's order for Toothless to hold his fire.

They reached the beach and the moon finally threw the kidnappers into the light.

Woe and behold- _she had been right._

Earl waved Gabor and Arvid- who was holding Ingrid- onto the ship and hurriedly started raising the sails and pulling in the anchor. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Astrid raged. Stormfly swooped in and the enraged rider dropped ten feet onto the deck, her axe ready. Toothless landed on the figurehead and Hiccup swung down, his fire sword crackling and burning away. "Give. Me. My. Baby." Astrid growled. Earl glowered at her, he and Gabor moving in front of Arvid and drawing swords. Astrid's temper exploded and she lunged, swinging at Earl with the axe. Gabor made to run her through, but was his blade was blocked by a white hot stream of fire.

There was a small scuffle and then they all ended up apart. Hiccup stood before Astrid slightly, his arm out to keep her at bay.

"Now," he huffed, ever the diplomat. Somehow, he had found time to pull on trousers and grab his weapon _and _keep up with his wife. Astrid had only grabbed her axe. "Give Ingrid back."

"Why should we?" Astrid swore loudly.

"She's our daughter!" She shrieked, raising her axe. Hiccup's arm still blocked her. She was all for charging past, but the calmness oozing from him kept her in place.

"No, not anymore." Arvid rocked the infant and smiled. "Our lives are far more important than some little brat's." Hiccup could sense Astrid's temper building again and figured he couldn't keep her back for much longer.

"Were you sent?" He asked.

"Not supposed to tell him anything." Gabor muttered warningly. He was eyeing Toothless greedily over his shoulder. Hiccup could see it in his face- the 'fisherman' could get quite a high price for a Night Fury alongside a chief's heir.

"Get them off my ship." Earl ordered. Arvid handed Ingrid over, who was still asleep. He and Gabor readied their weapons and advanced. Hiccup lowered his arm. Astrid moved like lightning, screaming at the top of her lungs. Arvid wavered and missed decapitation by a _millimetre_, ducking at the last second. Toothless roared to Stormfly up on the crow's nest. There was a swish and Gabor fell, Nadder spines hammering him to the deck and holding him in place.

Hiccup darted forward and tackled Arvid, leaving Astrid to go after Earl. He wasn't really thinking what he was doing- when this was all over, it would take some time to get his head around what happened. He had trusted the trio even if his wife and in-laws hadn't. It was hard not to trust someone who did quite a bit of fair work about the village.

"_Hoooooold _it!" A new voice cried. Earl ducked out of the way and Astrid's axe slammed into the mast. Hiccup kept Arvid pinned and peered up curiously. Someone was standing on the rigging, swinging off of it. They leapt, grabbed one of the ropes and artfully swung down. Toothless snarled as they somersaulted in mid-air and landed gracefully before him, arms raised as though he expected a round of applause.

"I thought you were dead."

"Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup! That's no way to greet your old brother!" Dagur cackled. "Not that we're brothers! Not since you denied me that Night Fury!" The Berserk spun round and his greedy eyes alighted on Toothless. "Still alive!" He did a merry little dance, a crazed light in his eyes. "Oooh, it really is my lucky day!" Astrid hefted her axe onto her shoulder. Earl scrabbled over to stand next to his boss, Ingrid mewling in his arms.

"What are you doing here, Dagur?" She snarled.

"Why, I'm here to ruin everything you had! Just returning the favour!" A wickedly sharp, jagged sword appeared in his hand and he rushed forward.

"I don't think so!" Astrid stepped in, swinging her axe up and smacking Dagur's blade away from slicing Hiccup in two.

"No!" Dagur howled. "You're ruining my plan! And it's a perfectly good plan!"

"Not my problem!" Astrid swung wildly. Dagur dodged under it and Hiccup jumped in, going sword-on-fire-sword with his old foe. Astrid danced around them and went for the jugular. There was no standing between her and her baby. Hiccup didn't get to see how well she was doing- Dagur had really been training over the past seven years. It took everything Hiccup had to focus on not losing another limb or his head. He already had a few cuts in his arm, one on his cheek and another across his ribcage. He parried another blow and swiped at Dagur with his free hand. The smack to the face momentarily disorientated the Berserk and Hiccup had the chance to dislodge a Zippleback canister. He threw it at Dagur's feet and, with a blast from Toothless, it exploded.

The ship was on fire. Dagur must have had something below deck as explosive as the Zippleback gas as an a secondary wave of heat and fire knocked Hiccup back towards the wheel. Toothless leapt through the flames and scooped him up. Dagur dived over board. Gabor was screaming to be let free, Arvid was trying to find a path through the flames to get to him and Earl was nowhere to be seen.

Hiccup panicked for a second, but then he saw Astrid scaling the burning rigging one-handed, Ingrid tucked in her arm. The long handle of her axe was tucked down the back of her nightdress. Hiccup urged Toothless onwards and pulled his wife abroad. Stormfly was hovering uncertainly above them.

"Let's go." Astrid muttered, passing Ingrid back to him and pulling her axe free. There was blood on the blade.

"No!" Dagur screamed from the water. "GET BACK HERE!" Astrid tensed, her head snapping round to glower at him. Hiccup was suddenly glad she was on his side.

"IF YOU DARE COME BACK, I SWEAR TO THE GODS _I WILL KILL YOU_!"

"I WILL GET THAT CHILD! YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF DAGUR THE DERANGED!"

* * *

><p><strong>There was more to this, but I don't think it would be very suitable. I wanted to put it, but didn't want to as well- the original idea was that Astrid killed one of the kidnappers, but I didn't want to do anything too out of character- I mean, she would be protecting and saving her daughter, but would murder be too much? What do you lot think? I can add it in if you want, or post it as something separate if need be or leave it out entirely? <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

Astrid remained in a bad temper for quite a while. No matter what Hiccup did, she refused point-blank to acknowledge him or talk to him in something other than monosyllabic glowers. He cooked her breakfast in bed, dinner, ran her warm baths, picked flowers, brought her favourite pie from the bakery, made her a new axe and a new, more comfortable saddle for Stormfly with an extra detachable attachment to sit Ingrid in if need be. Everything he tried and _nothing_.

"I don't understand women." Hiccup complained to his father after ten days of this. He had dropped by to see his parents during his lunch break and found that he wasn't hungry. "I've said 'sorry' a million times and haven't said anything against her keeping Ingrid with her twenty-four seven."

"She'll come around." Stoick assured, carving yet again another wooden duck. He eyed the creation curiously for a minute and then continued with his work. "She's a stubborn one, that Astrid."

"I know." Hiccup grumbled.

"Sit up and eat your food." Valka told him. Hiccup had his head on the table. He looked up, resting his chin on the surface, and regarded his mother's cooking. Admittedly, it had gotten better. But meatballs were still dangerous.

"Mum, you understand women. What can I do?"

"Admit you were wrong."

"I have."

"To a good enough calibre?" Valka smiled. Hiccup frowned, confused. "One thing you should know about us women, son- _we are always right_." Stoick nodded in agreement. "Never pick a fight with a woman; you will never win."

"I've noticed."

"Appeal to her nature."

"Sooo, jump off Deadman's Peak?"

"Ah." Valka looked amused. "She said that then?"

"In passing." Hiccup made a face at his father, who was laughing at his misfortune.

"Women like to think they're the boss. Which they are." He added hastily at his wife's glare. "Just remind Astrid of that in some _supposedly_ endearing Hiccup way and you should be fine." He set his duck on the table, facing his son.

"Quack." Hiccup muttered. "And what'd you mean _supposedly_? I'm very endearing."

"Oh yeah?" Stoick challenged, leaning his arms on the table and smirking at his son.

"Yeah."

"Go and get your wife back then."

* * *

><p>Hiccup managed to persuade Astrid to go out for a walk with him at the two week mark. Everyone knew what had happened and found it very amusing that their chief couldn't win back his wife. Some of them were starting to feel sorry for him as time wore on, but others- like Snotlout- were bent on making snide remarks.<p>

They were passing through the middle of the village when it happened. Hiccup had been talking aimlessly to her, jabbering in his nervousness. Astrid pretended she couldn't hear him, fussing over Ingrid until the tot fell asleep in the sling. Hiccup missed holding his daughter- two weeks, it had been. How long could Astrid's stubborn temper last?

"I can't set things right if you don't talk to me!" He blurted when she completely ignored his question on what he could do to amend the issues. For the first time in a fortnight, her eyes found his, burning with such an anger, Hiccup suddenly knew what Earl, Gabor and Arvid must have felt on _that _night.

"IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS!" She thundered, storming towards him. Hiccup backed up sharply, hands up in surrender. She completely ignored this. "You're such an _idiot_, Hiccup, you see the good in every- what _are_ you doing?" She finished her sentence in complete confusion. Her stupid husband had dropped to the ground at her feet, hands over his head and his forehead to the dirt. Some of the men started to laugh- these were the ones who still teased Hiccup sometimes for not being 'Viking-like'. Snotlout was amongst them. Some of the women cooed and smiled approvingly. Two weeks wasn't so bad- most men _never_ figured out what to do when their wife was mad at them.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, you were right, you're always right." Hiccup said into the dirt. Astrid was absolutely baffled and the only way she could think of to react was to…

Laugh.

And then she couldn't stop laughing. All her anger seemed to melt away as tears streamed down her cheeks and she laughed. Hiccup looked more mystified than anyone there, debating silently if his wife had succumbed to insanity. He wasn't going to have to ship her away when she had _finally_ stopped being angry at him, was he?

"Ooooh, my side." She put a hand on her stitch and, still giggling, knelt to be eye-to-eye with Hiccup. "You really are an idiot."

"Uuhhh…" What was going on? _What in Thor's name was going on?_

She kissed him lightly and pulled him to his feet, smirking at his puzzled expression. Hiccup caught sight of his father past her shoulder. Stoick grinned and gave him a double-thumbs up.

_Women like to think they're the boss. __Which they are__._

Now it all made sense.

_One thing you should know about us women, son- __we are always right_

Astrid smiled at him, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. She wiped at her eyes with her other hand, giggling feebly. "That's made my day." She beamed at him. "Idiot." Relief washed over Hiccup, banishing the confusion. He grinned back. He wasn't sure what to say- _speechless_- but he had his wife and daughter back. Today was a good day.

* * *

><p>He had work to do the following day. Astrid saw him about the village as she run a few errands and he kept grinning when he saw her, like someone had offered him the world. She couldn't help but grin back. Yes, she was still angry at him, but she was <em>always<em> angry at him. And she had missed him. He had been so sweet to her with the meals and the baths and the flowers and the new axe and she had put him under the heaviest bout of silent treatment known to man.

All around the village, though, she heard constant whispering. The women were in awe and very impressed with Hiccup's behaviour yesterday, but the men were not so amazed. A couple found it funny and were glad their chief and his wife were back on speaking terms, but the majority of them thought Hiccup's little act made for a poor chief. Some of them even let Hiccup know what was on their minds- "We understand you were trying to sort things with your wife, chief, but there are other ways to go about doing it. You shouldn't have grovelled at her feet like that."

"OK." Hiccup said, clearly not having heard a word of what was said to him. Astrid's annoyance at him weakened a fraction- this would not be dropped so easily and he knew that. If the cost of having her back was the fierce disapproval and constant picking of the villagers, then so be it.

Stoick and Valka were ecstatic to have her back round for lunch and to see their granddaughter again. Hildegard was among the women who loved Hiccup's apology. Astrid's father, Fenrir, was in two minds about it. He liked Hiccup and trusted him with his daughter. He wasn't sure about his way of apologizing though.

But Astrid was far happier now than she had been in two weeks. "That's good 'nough for me." Fenrir told his son-in-law. "Just listen to 'er next time; understand?"

"Yes sir." Fenrir gave a content nod and left. Hiccup sighed in relief and then sharp pain flared in his shoulder. He turned and saw Astrid smirking at him. "What? Are you going to call me an idiot again?"

"I was." She admitted. "But I think you've got enough ridicule at the minute."

"Really? I thought you'd like to top it all off with a well-placed insult that will slowly eat away at my confidence and eventually my mental state, leaving you free to take control of everything and discreetly bury me alive under the patio."

"I'm going to have to kill you now, you know too much."

"Dammit." She smacked him in the arm and laughed. "I missed you."

"And I had a lovely two weeks being waited on hand-and-foot." He gaped at her.

"You… you did that on purpose."

"I was still mad at you anyway, but I suppose it _was_ an added benefit." She smiled mischievously and flounced off.

What had he gotten himself in to?


	8. Chapter 8

"Now, don't start crying. Ooh, why is she crying?" Toothless stared blankly back at his rider- how was he supposed to know? Human hatchlings were just _weird_. No wings, no claws, no fire, nothing. They just seemed to make a lot of noise and smell. Toothless didn't mind it so much when it was asleep; mostly because Hiccup could get out and fly for a while. That was nice. "Ingrid, please stop crying. Look, it's Dragon." He waved the small toy dragon Valka had made desperately. She only seemed to cry more. "Come on, Ingrid. We all know if you cry, I'm going to cry. ASTRID, THIS CHILD IS BROKEN!"

"Oh for the love of Thor's underpants, Hiccup!" Astrid hurried down the stairs, fashioning her hair into a messy bun.

"I don't know!" Hiccup panicked. "She's not hungry, she doesn't smell, she didn't want to be held or... or anything!" Astrid rocked and bounced Ingrid gently against her chest, shushing her softly. "And Thor's underpants?"

"It's just an expression."

"You don't really think of the gods wearing underpants."

"Well, they're not exactly _nude_, are they?"

"They could be." Astrid cast her eyes to the heavens. "Hey, don't look up. You might see something unpleasant." She snorted before she could stop herself and snickered.

"The stuff you come out with..."

"It's one of the many reasons why you married me."

"Is it now? Ssh, baby, Daddy didn't mean to be silly."

"Of course he did." Astrid sent him a 'shut up' look and he dutifully set off to feed the dragons. Toothless bumbled after him, grumbling impatiently. Breakfast had been stalled because the hatchling had been crying. "Women." Hiccup muttered to his dragon, as though the Night Fury would understand. "Such confusing creatures. Alright, alright, patience!" He laughed. Toothless pawed impatiently at the basket and snorted demandingly. Hiccup undid the strap and tipped the contents onto the floor. "Where's Stormfly?" No response. Food was here, why would there be? "Astrid, where's Stormfly?"

"She's still asleep upstairs." Ingrid had quietened to a discontented mewl, waving her tiny fists unhappily. "Yes, I do know." Astrid told her. "I've known him a lot longer than you have. She says you're an idiot." She added at Hiccup's befuddled look.

"Oh, I forgot you were fluent in gibberish!"

"Let me show you something _really _interesting." She stomped past him and yanked open... "The door." Hiccup gasped excitedly, skipping forward and examining the door like he had never seen it before.

"How absolutely _fascinating_!" He marvelled, swinging it back and forth and inspecting the hinges with delight. "Ah," He smirked at her, "you were trying to get rid of me, weren't you?"

"Five minutes' peace would be nice."

"Fine, but you're only getting five minutes." He kissed her cheek, made a face at Ingrid and went for a walk. He counted five hundred steps and walked back. His endearing wife immediately sent him off to get on with his chiefly duties. "And there was me thinking you loved me!"

"I do, but you're very annoying!" He laughed maniacally and set off to find Fishlegs and Bjorn Senior. Instead, he found the twins yak-tipping.

"Oy!"

"Run!" Tuffnut shoved his sister and then sprinted for Barf and Belch. Hiccup caught Ruffnut first and Tuffnut was stranded- the twins couldn't fly their dragon alone.

"Aren't you a bit old for yak-tipping?"

"We're never too old to have fun, chief."

"Duh." Ruffnut added, pulling her arm free and dusting herself down.

"Put the yaks back upright."

"Oooohhhh!" They complained simultaneously. "Do we have to?" Hiccup nodded, folding his arms. "You're no fun." Tuffnut mumbled. "Not since you became Mr. Big Shot Chief Snotty Pants."

"I take it you're bored?"

"Yes." They grumbled.

"Well... I don't know, maybe you can't handle it..." That got their attention.

"Tell us, tell us!"

"No, it'd be too much trouble." He made to leave. "But... I suppose..." He trailed off again. "If you sorted out the yaks, I may tell you..." They rushed to right their wrongs. They had never worked so quickly. "Excellent." Hiccup beamed. "Well, how'd you like to help finalise Thawfest details?"

"Do we get to blow things up?"

"No, but you get to race."

"Yes!" They cheered and high-fived each other.

"Meet me at the arena in ten minutes." Hiccup smiled. That'd keep them out of trouble for a few hours at least.

"Yes chief sir!" They saluted, jumped on their dragon and soared away. Hiccup gave a sigh of relief and carried on, after checking that all the yaks were standing.

Fishlegs and both of the Bjorn's were in the Great Hall. Meatlug was snoozing in the sunlight outside, gobbling rocks in her dreams. Hiccup told his work partners that he had pulled the twins in and tried to set aside any of their worries- not an easy thing, considering the twins' destructive habits. "I'm sure it'll work out, I just needed to distract them for a while. And, besides, they might get bored really quickly and leave to... I don't know, whatever it is the twins do."

"I don't want to know." Fishlegs sighed. "How are things with Astrid?"

"I think she's trying to bump me off." They looked amused. "I'm serious, she might try and take control of things if I'm gone."

"It wouldn't surprise me." Bjorn Senior admitted. His son smiled shyly at Hiccup and bowed his head to fiercely scribble away in his notebook. Hiccup leant forward in his seat to see a very childish, but relatively good drawing of a dragon.

"Is that a Night Fury?" Bjorn Junior burnt scarlet and clutched his book to his chest. "It's very good." Hiccup smiled. "You keep that up and I could put it on the wall next to my own." If possible, Junior turned even redder. His father beamed appreciatively at Hiccup.

* * *

><p>"Come on, say 'Daddy'."<p>

"Hiccup, go away. She's obviously going to say 'Mummy' first."

"Says who?"

"Says _me_." Astrid placed her hand on her hip and pointed at him warningly. "So shut up."

"She loves me more."

"Ridiculous."

"Some might say you've gone soft with motherhood..." Hiccup mused teasingly, waggling his fingers at his daughter. She cooed happily and kicked her chubby legs. Astrid pounced, grabbing him by the wrist and twisting his arm right back. He crumpled to his knees. "Mercy, mercy! Ow! I'm an idiot." She let him go and smiled angelically.

"See? You _are _learning." Hiccup waved his arm and mocked sulking. Astrid mimicked and then turned back to her baby. "Come on, Ingrid. Show your silly Daddy girls are better than boys."

"Aaaaahhhh..." Ingrid drooled. Hiccup got to his feet.

"Look, missy, I'm the chief. Do as you're told and say 'Daddy' or I'll hand you over to Dagur next time he shows his ugly mug."

"Oh, get over yourself. She wouldn't care if you were the chief or not, she'll still beat you at everything."

"If she takes after you, most definitely."

"So you won't hand her over to Dagur?" Hiccup glanced sidelong at his wife. "Don't make me get my axe."

"She's not supposed to know that!"

"Are you _blackmailing _her?"

"No..."

"Hiccup! Have you no shame?"

"No." Astrid sniggered. Ingrid sneezed and toppled back, giggling happily. Toothless peered down at her, curious. He snuffled at her messy dark hair and then crooned, giving a gummy smile. Ingrid giggled and rolled clumsily onto her front, crawling off. Just over a year old and already a pain in the backside. "Ingrid, come back! No, get out from under the table. Oooh, she is _so _your daughter."

"Only if she says 'Daddy' first."

"You will forever hold a grudge if she doesn't, won't you?" He shrugged nonchalantly and Astrid rolled her eyes. "Ingrid, just say 'Mummy' and then we can have a few hours piece from this nutjob." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Hiccup.

"No, say 'Daddy'." Hiccup insisted. Ingrid peered at them curiously from under the table, chewing on her fingers. A light danced cheekily in her eyes as she left them on tenterhooks. "Ingrid, I will disown you if you don't do this." Astrid hit his arm.

"You can't say that!"

"I never realised I was physically unable to do so."

"I _will _get my axe." Hiccup mimed zipping his lips closed and watched his daughter expectantly. He wouldn't really throw her out. He needed an heir for one thing and for another, Dagur was still prowling about and had been for the past year and a bit. No matter how many times Astrid sent him packing with broken bones, bruises and bloodstains so vast, he was just red, he did not get the message whatsoever. Hiccup was tempted to change his name from Dagur the Deranged to Dagur the Dumbass.

"Ingrid. Say 'Daddy."

"No."

"No!"

"Rude!"

"No." Ingrid said again. Then she smiled. "No!" She laughed happily and crawled out from the table, but on the other side to her parents.

"You get back here, young lady, and show your mother some respect!"

"No!" Stormfly caught the crawling child first, enclosing her in her wings. Ingrid was perfectly fine with this, tracing the patterns on the Nadder's wings.

"Ooh, that is so typical of you _Hoffersons_!"

"I beg your pardon? It's that _Haddock _idiocy, that's what it is!"

"Puh-_lease_, Astrid. It's _your _stubbornness that's got us in this mess."

"It's not stubbornness; it's sheer defiance for authority and quite frankly, I can't blame her."

"Are you two arguing _again_?" Hildegard and Fenrir were over for lunch. "By the gods, do you ever stop?"

"Your granddaughter is broken." Hiccup accused.

"I wonder why." Astrid muttered sarcastically.

"Why? What's she done now?" Hildegard scooped up the tot, chucking her under the chin.

"No!" Ingrid repeated proudly.

"Ah. Not the usual first word, is it?" Fenrir was laughing. Hiccup was pretty sure he had never heard Astrid's father _laugh _before and was rendered quite speechless for it.

"Aye, that'd be the Hofferson blood."

"Told you."

"Axe."

"No, no." Hildegard smiled. "My first word was 'no' too."

"What was Astrid's?"

"'Axe'."

"Well _that _figures."

"No!"

"Yes, yes, rub it in." Hiccup made a face at his daughter and she giggled. "Horrible child."

"No!"

* * *

><p><strong>Time-skip! Sorry about that, but I needed to do it to get on with the story. I hope this is alright! :D<strong>

**Special thank you to HiccupHaddockIII who helped me get my ideas straight! ^_^ **


	9. Chapter 9

"_Please_ let me take her out after breakfast!"

"What'd you mean _after breakfast_? You just ate!"

"I'm still hungry."

"You're _always_ hungry lately; what's going on?" Hiccup gave an indifferent shrug.

"It's just my tapeworm Jim."

"Ew!" He pretended not to notice her disgruntled look and laughed.

"Kidding!"

"You had better be!" Astrid scolded, eyeing him warily. Ingrid tugged on her braid sharply. "What do you want, you little madam?"

"Fl'!" Ingrid insisted, waving her arms about. "Fl'!" Over the past two weeks, she had learnt an assortment of words, but she could only say about a third of them properly. Unfortunately, still no 'Mummy' or 'Daddy'- Astrid and Hiccup were competing _endlessly_ for this achievement. "Fl' wi' 'gon!"

"_Dra_gon." Hiccup corrected kindly.

"'Gon!"

"Dra."

"Drrrrr…"

"Gon."

"Drrrrrgon."

"Close enough." He clapped his hands once and held them out to his daughter. She squealed excitedly and leant forward suddenly, toppling from her mother's arms to her father's. "See." Hiccup stuck his tongue out at his wife. "Told you she loves me more."

"We've talked about this, Hiccup- you can't let your delusions run your head, it doesn't make for a good chief."

"I'll tell Jim and he'll eat you."

"Jim, your imaginary tapeworm friend?" Hiccup gave a single nod. "Whatever. Have her back before lunch, OK?"

"Victory!" He declared, punching the air with his free hand. Ingrid mimicked.

"Vic'ry!" She tried, giggling.

"You're going to be super clever, like your amazing daddy. Say 'Daddy'."

"No."

"Say 'Mummy'." Astrid attempted.

"No."

"Take her away, Hiccup, and don't bring her back until she says 'Mummy'."

"Or 'Daddy'."

"Fat chance." Astrid handed him the baby bag and waved him out the door. Toothless leapt down from the roof, chortling a hello. Hiccup petted him and wrapped Ingrid up in the sling. Toothless prowled about, snuffling Hiccup inquisitively and it took a few minutes to get him to sit still long enough to climb in the saddle. He tested the tail as Ingrid twisted about in the sling.

"Drrrrgon." Ingrid slurred. She peered curiously over the edge of the material and whooped in delight as Toothless took off. Hiccup smiled to himself, tucking another blanket about his daughter as the temperatures dropped. She curled up and stared up in amazement at the clouds and blue sky. "Eh?" She asked, pointing.

"Cloud." Hiccup told her.

"Clo'. Clo'!" She clapped excitedly. Toothless peered over his shoulder and took to diving and twirling and loop-the-looping. Hiccup kept a firm hold on his daughter, who was shrieking and laughing gleefully. "Clo', clo'!" She demanded, pointing up.

"Disappear, bud." Hiccup told his dragon, shifting the tail. Toothless batted his wings and clambered up. Ingrid was _ecstatic_.

* * *

><p>Astrid watched from the ground, cursing her husband when the Night Fury started aerobatics. Thankfully, she saw no tiny falling shape and the dragon didn't dive down to collect anything. Then they disappeared into the clouds and she hoped Hiccup had the sense to keep Ingrid wrapped up warm.<p>

Sighing, she returned inside. _Jim the tapeworm_. Sometimes, she wished Hiccup could work his way through a sensible conversation, but then she realised that she would miss out on a good giggle if he did. _Jim the tapeworm_, honestly.

"Stormfly, the fire!" The Nadder squawked irritably and shot flames at the hearth, curled up and went back to sleep. Astrid sidled over, spitting on her hand and massaging the dragon's scales. Stormfly huffed happily and nudged her rider affectionately, apologizing for being snappy. "Good girl."

Someone knocked on the door. "Everything alright, Mum?"

"I do hope so." Hildegard peered at Astrid curiously.

"What?"

"I keep track of things, Astrid, you know that."

"Yeah. And?" Hildegard gave her a pointed look. "No." Astrid shook her head. Hildegard nodded slowly, smiling knowingly. "Mum, no, I- I would know."

"Would you now?"

"Well, I'd have thought so."

"Never question your mother, Astrid. I do know what I'm on about." Astrid changed the subject by offering a beverage. Her mother wasn't swayed so easily, but she did except the warm yak's milk. "Look, it's a mother's intuition, we know these things."

"But I'm _fine_."

"Are you?"

"Well, I was sick yesterday, but Hiccup didn't feel that good either- dodgy lamb or something. I didn't cook it right." Hildegard hummed and sipped her drink. "Mum, don't- do _not_ insinuate _anything_."

"I'm not insinuating. I _know_."

"Of course you do." Astrid muttered.

"Just you wait, you'll see."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to HttydFangirlxox for the flying idea! :D <strong>

**Any guesses? :3 **


	10. Chapter 10

Hiccup sank into his chair with an exhausted groan. Astrid set his dinner before him and then got him some ice blocks. He instantly took two and pressed them to his temples, sighing in relief.

"Long day?"

"Never-ending. And don't correct me on that, my head hurts."

"I can tell. What happened?"

"Eighteen saddle orders; Dagur turned up; fire in the arena that actually _wasn't_ the twins, believe it or not; wild dragons sunk two fishing boats with the cargo; Bucket and Mulch were fighting like badgers over something ridiculous I can't even remember. Then I had lunch."

"_What_?" He nodded, eyes closed and grimacing. "I almost feel sorry for you."

"Thank you." He set down an ice block and started eating.

"What happened after lunch then?"

"I'm surprised you didn't notice. Three Zipplebacks went on a bit of a rampage and trashed town; messed up four of the saddles and had to start over; the twins were sneaking about and swapping everyone's things; some idiot found dragon root and 'didn't realise' as he dragged it into the stables; Fishlegs had a nervous breakdown and Bucket and Mulch found axes." He moved the ice block to the middle of his forehead and grumbled a few curses. Astrid patted his arm in the closest thing to sympathy she could manage and got her own dinner. She heard Toothless and Stormfly- already fed- scoffing about upstairs and prayed they didn't wake Ingrid. "Your mother's been over."

"Yeah." He pointed at something with his fork.

"I don't remember that being there."

"She rearranged a few things." He nodded slowly, looking around carefully and trying to spot these rearrangements. "Hiccup?" His eyes found hers. "I was thinking about going back to teaching next week. Ingrid could stay with my lot. Or you lot. Either one, because I know they'll look after her." He nodded again, setting the ice block down to cut his lamb. Astrid expected a protest or a question, but he just seemed to accept it. "That OK with you?"

"If you want to do it, then yeah, it's fine." He smiled lopsidedly. "We're an extra teacher down anyway. Fishlegs can't handle your class."

"Nervous breakdown?"

"Of the worst kind."

"How is he now?"

"Better, but he's having the rest of the week off to get his thoughts together."

"I could start again tomorrow!" Astrid decided excitedly.

"Are you sure?"

"Hiccup, as much as I love looking after Ingrid, I need to do something else too."

"OK, but if you change your mind, let me know." She beamed at him and his grimace eased a fraction. Astrid surveyed him for a moment as he pushed his vegetables about his plate.

"Hiccup? I might have something that'll cheer you up."

"Oh?"

"Guess." She smirked.

"Dammit." Hiccup mulled over it for a second and then shrugged. "I don't know."

"You didn't even try!"

"Give me a clue then." He laughed.

"Must I?"

"You must." She pulled a face at him and he smiled sweetly.

"Fine." She paused, thinking. "It's only happened once before." His smile faded into a blank look and he stared at her. Astrid figured it'd take more than one clue for him to get it. "You'll be very excited about it when you know."

"I have another birthday?"

"That hasn't happened once before."

"Practically has." He muttered, picking at his food. "Any more clues?"

"Umm…" Astrid helped herself to vegetables while she thought this over. "There's a possibility some of the men in the village will be happy." If possible, he looked even more confused. "It'll take a while to finish." She continued. "And it always finishes rather messily and painfully." Nope. Still no idea. "You _really_ aren't with it, are you?" A smile brightened his eyes as he gave her a pointed look from beneath his fringe **(bangs for you Americans).**

"Nope."

"You make it sound like a good thing."

"_Someone_ needs to be optimistic."

"Yes, well…"

"Holy Thor's underpants… are you-?" He sat up straighter, eager. "Are you- you know?" He pointed at her stomach and she beamed. "Yes!" He bounced up, suddenly full of energy. Astrid was dragged to her feet and he was hugging her fiercely, laughing. "This is _brilliant_!" He kissed her, grinning against her lips. "You're the best."

"I know." She laughed softly and kissed him back.

"Does Ingrid know? Let's tell Ingrid!"

"She's asleep!"

"But this is _important_! She's going to be a big sister!"

"Wait until she wakes up."

"_Ooohhhhh_…"

"You _child_."


	11. Chapter 11

**I've got a poll up that's closing Sunday in case anyone hasn't voted yet! **

**A special thank you to HiccupHaddockIII for helping me get over writer's block on this! Hopefully that stays gone :'D **

**I'm sorry in advance if my spelling isn't right in this, my new laptop doesn't have Word and WordPad doesn't tell me when I've spelt something wrong.**

* * *

><p>Hiccup was buzzing with energy and his headache was a distant memory. Astrid was exhausted just <em>watching<em> him, but his enthusiasm was infectious and she couldn't stop smiling. He was waiting for Ingrid to wake up. If it wasn't so, Astrid feared the house wouldn't be able to contain him for much longer. He was already trying to come up with baby names and debating with himself between whether he wanted another girl or a son. "I know what having a daughter's like and it's great, but I want to know what it'd be like to have a son too and I can't choose! What do you want?"

"As long as it's healthy, I don't mind."

"Be serious, Astrid! What do you want?" She thought about it for a moment.

"Maybe another girl. Then we could all gang up on you."

"I feel loved."

"You should." He grinned again and started bouncing about the room, wittering on. They would need to sort out another cot, more baby supplies- "Oh! I need to tell Mum and Dad! I take it your mother already knows; I bet she told you, she's clever like that. Does your dad know, have you told him? Did your mum tell him? Should we tell the village? We did last time, we told them about Ingrid."

"Will you _sit down_? You're making me dizzy."

"Sorry, sorry!" He dropped into his seat, restlessly drumming his fingers on the table. He was still smiling. His dinner had gone cold, but he barely noticed. Too excited for food.

Then he jumped up. "I'm going to tell Mum and Dad." He paused. "And Gobber. And Fishlegs." Astrid mentally sighed in relief. That would give her ten, fifteen if she was lucky, minutes of peace from Hiccup eccentricity.

Her husband bounced round to her, throwing his arms around her shoulders and kissing her, almost gratefully. "I'll be back in a bit, milady." He promised.

"I look forward to it." Hiccup pulled a face at her sarcasm, but nothing was going to dampen his spirits now. He swung his furry, chief coak about his shoulders and bounded out the door, humming happily to himself. Astrid pitied his parents; they were going to get the full Hiccup treatment.

* * *

><p>"Yes, we know."<p>

"_You know_?"

"Hildegard and I thought she was." Valka smiled. "And of course I told your father; he's as excited as you are."

"But I wanted to tell you!" Hiccup pouted. Valka rolled her eyes, deciding to play along anyway.

"So, why are you in such a good mood?" Her son beamed- they were starting the conversation over again.

"Astrid's pregnant!" Valka gasped excitedly.

"Oh, how lovely!" She surged forward to give him a congratulary hug. "That's wonderful!"

"I know, right?" Hiccup laughed. He looked around. "Where's Dad?"

"He just went for a walk, he'll be back in a bit." Valka eyed her son curiously. "Don't you need to tell Gobber and Fishlegs? And no, Gobber doesn't know. Unless he's seen your father this morning- I can't make any promises."

"Hopefully he hasn't then. I want to properly surprise someone!" He gave his mother a very pointed look, seeing right through her ploy.

"Oh, darn! You sussed my trick! Gods above, whatever shall I do?"

"Feed me." He suggested.

"Get lost." She laughed.

* * *

><p>Gobber knew- Stoick was telling him just as Hiccup reached the workshop. "Talk of the devil!" Stoick boomed happily, catching his son under his arm. Gobber dipped the red hot sword in the cooling bucket and examined his work.<p>

"Devil indeed." He nodded at Hiccup, eyes twinkling playfully as they swivelled to Stoick. "Feels like yesterday you were in here telling me Valka was expecting."

"Aye." Stoick agreed, smiling fondly. "Now look where we are." He patted Hiccup's shoulder proudly. "Treasure this time, m'boy. It'll go faster than you think."

"Which is why I never had kids." Gobber intervened, spinning his rack of interchangeable hands. "You know me, I like to live life to the fullest."

"With mustache brushes?" Hiccup smirked.

"Ah, I'm a genius out of time."

"If you say so."

"Cheeky git."

"Oy!" Stoick protested good-naturedly. "He's picked it up from you, Gobber!"

"What? _Me_? Perish the thought!" But Gobber looked very pleased with himself and Hiccup knew it was true. "Hey, let's hope it's a boy. I could do with another Hiccup to pick on."

"No picking on mini-me's!" Hiccup insisted. Gobber shone a mischievous smile at them and lumbered off, humming. "What'd you think, Dad? Boy or girl?"

"Let it play out, son. As long as-"

"It's healthy?" Hiccup guessed.

"Well, yes, but I was going to say as long as I get another grandbaby, it's fine by me."

* * *

><p><strong>Don't forget to vote! :D <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to HiccupHaddockIII yet again for helping me with this one! :D**

* * *

><p>"No get it." Ingrid mumbled sleepily. Hiccup smiled and lifted her from the cot, moving backwards to sit on the bed. He balanced her on his knee.<p>

"Well, your mummy is going to have a baby." Ingrid looked up at him, puzzled. "You were a baby once too. Little tiny thing you were." Hiccup held up his hand, placing his thumb and finger with very little space between them. Ingrid smacked his hand away and frowned. "OK, maybe not that tiny, but anyway..." He waved it off and chucked her under the chin. "You're going to be a big sister."

"Whazzat?"

"Um... you know the twins?" She nodded. "They're brother and sister. And you could have a little brother or sister too."

"Why?" She looked around. "Baby?" She asked. "No get it."

"You will, don't worry."

"When?"

"In a few months." Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked up. Astrid smiled at him. Ingrid hummed and stared at her mother quizzically. "Baby?" She asked again.

"Yes." Astrid said kindly, gliding forward and sitting next to Hiccup on the bed. Ingrid tumbled into her arms and curled against her shoulder. "In here." She patted her stomach. Her daughter looked absolutely bewildered. "You came from here too." Astrid added as Ingrid prodded her stomach experimentally. "It's alright though, perfectly normal." She assured. "But like your daddy said, it'll be a few months and then you'll have a little brother or sister."

"That good?"

"Yes." Astrid smiled at her husband. "Very good." Ingrid mulled over her thoughts for another moment, staring at her mother's stomach as though trying to envision this 'baby'.

"Drrrrgon." She decided when Toothless bumbled over, snuffling and butting his head gently against his rider's hand.

"Say Daddy." Hiccup prompted, scratching his dragon behind the ear. Ingrid stared at him.

"Mummy."

"Ha!"

"No!"

"Mummy!"

"Treason!"

"Oh, be serious, Hiccup! She's not even two; you can't call treason on her."

"I can too!" Toothless growled in agreement and licked his claws, cleaning his face. "Horrible child, I was _nice_ to you!" Ingrid blinked blankly at him. "I call treason on you, I'm calling treason on her! Despicable child, _disowned_."

"Hiccup!" Astrid scolded. "You wanted her to be a clever child and she clearly is." Hiccup made a face and Ingrid giggled.

"Still disowning you."

"Go to work."

"No, I'm sulking."

"_Go_. Toothless, help me out here." The Night Fury dutifully nudged his rider out, spreading his wings to stop Hiccup getting around him. "Good dragon!" Astrid called after them.

"Horrible wife!" Hiccup called up. "Horrible daughter! I disown the lot of you!"

"Oh yeah?" Astrid challenged, setting Ingrid down on the bed and marching to the top of the stairs. She stood with her hands on her hips, shoulders set back in defiance. "Come here and say that to my face, I _dare_ you." Hiccup looked very tempted to do so, but something about his wife's stance suggested death if he did. Instead, he grinned and blew her a kiss.

"Love you!"

"Idiot."

"I'm still disowning her though." He gestured at the ceiling, indicating his daughter. "Horrible child." He repeated.

"Yes, we've already established that. Toothless, get rid of him." The dragon happily obliged. Within seconds, the pair were gone. Astrid turned back to her daughter, who had bundled herself up in the furs on the big bed and settled back down to continue her midmorning nap. "Ingrid?" Two blue eyes peeked out from the furs, a wisp of dark hair obscuring her view. Astrid smiled. "Good girl."

* * *

><p><strong>First word, poor Hiccup :'D <strong>


End file.
